No Ghetto Bumpkins Allowed

Today Matt and I had lunch at our favorite Mexican place, which is actually called My Favorite Place.

There was a family of four at the booth across the way-- mom, dad, son, daughter. I have no idea how it came up, but the mom suddenly launched into a loud and clear speech about her expectations for her kids:

I ain't gonna have no ghetto bumpkin for a child! (Looking at son) YOU will wear your pants above your hips, with a belt and with your shirt tucked in, just like your Daddy does. You ain't gonna get no tattoos or holes in you, and you're gonna wear your hat the way it's meant to be worn-- not backwards, not sideways-- forwards! (Looks at daughter) And YOU ain't gonna date no guy who wears his pants down low. Only boys who dress nicely and are respectful and good guys like your daddy.

At this point, Dad, who has been mm-hmm-ing in agreement the whole time, says, "Or she won't date at all." Mom says, "Yeah, I'm okay with that too."

Then she addresses both kids:

And you're both gonna do well in school and go to college and you're not gonna get married until you're 30.

What I love is that the kids were maybe 6 and 8 years old, but it was obvious Mom had given this speech before. I bet those kids already know the main points of the speech, and in another year or two they will be able to recite it along with her. But she'll keep saying it, making sure they internalize Mom and Dad's expectations of them.

I know we all sometimes get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again from our moms, but oh man, I am TOTALLY going to do this to my kids.