Four Bedrooms, Two Different Ideas.

Yesterday at lunch Matt and I were idly discussing house plans as we waited for our pizza...

Matt: We'll need to buy another bed.
Jess: Why is that? We already have two.
Matt: Yeah. There are four bedrooms. We have two beds and one bedroom will be an office, so we need another bed.
Jess: Ummmm, maybe instead of buying a bed right away we'd wait a bit and buy a crib?
Matt: [crickets]

Goodbye, Hello

Every New Year, the Washington Post publishes its In & Out list. And in that spirit, I write this "Goodbye, Hello" list:

Goodbye | Hello       

        Memphis | Quad Cities     

        The South | The Midwest    

     teaching | tech support

 cotton fields | corn fields    

       corrupt mayors | corrupt governors   

   oppressive humidity | bone-chilling cold      

apartment living | house hunting   

Wolfchase Galleria | Southpark Mall       

tornadoes | tornadoes

Police Women of Memphis | American Pickers                

people who let doors slam in your face | people who hold doors for you              

                                      Southern accents | no accents? (trying to figure that one out)

     Tiger fans | Hawkeye fans

Coke | pop    

Wardrobe Rehab - Sort & Purge

I went through everything in the closet and in the dresser. It took a while, but this is the current state of my wardrobe:

I've already taken some of the "to be tailored" clothes to the tailor. The "to be donated" clothes are headed out today.

Meal Plan Monday - Week of August 30

Yeah yeah yeah, today is Tuesday. We'll all just have to get over it.

I don't have many meals planned for this week for two reasons. First, last week resulted in a LOT of leftovers, so last night was "finish the leftovers" night. Second, we are heading out of town on Friday for Labor Day weekend. Here we go:

• lemon pepper chicken, sweet potatoes, broccoli
• salmon, rice or couscous, peas
• BBQ porkchops, corn, sweet potato fries

Wardrobe Rehab (Before)

Ugh. I need a wardrobe overhaul. In the last four years I've had a lot of life changes and some body changes, but I haven't kept my wardrobe updated to match.

This is the current state of my closet. Please don't judge me.


















That doesn't look so bad, you say? Yeah, here's the other angle, the one that shows the floor.


















And then there's this:

Yup, those are two bags labeled "skinny clothes" that I just haven't had the heart to donate yet.

But now Matt and I are getting ready to move, and so I have to ask myself, what is really worth moving?

I think I need to admit that I'm probably not going to fit into those "skinny clothes" anytime soon. (I'm only five pounds heavier than I was when I wore them, but it seems like my hips have just spread out a bit. As in, my hip bones have spread out a bit. Is that normal? I read somewhere that it happens, I just thought it wasn't supposed to happen until after you have a kid.)

So between the move and this new admission, I need to refresh the wardrobe. Updates to come.

The Epic Sugar Cookie Project

I promised months ago to post about my sugar cookie project. It turned out to be epic, and then I went out of town a few days later for an extended trip. Anyways...

Back in June, both the Army and the Army Corps of Engineers celebrated their 235th birthdays. To celebrate, Matt and I made sugar cookies for his entire office, plus some extras to send to his supervisors.

This is the Corps of Engineers logo:

I found a similarly-shaped cookie cutter and used them to make sugar cookies. These things were HUGE!

Multiply that by one hundred and something... laid out on the dining room table. The frosting takes FOREVER to dry!

And then we packaged up a few sets to send to DC. The rest went to Matt's office.

Of course, a few cookies suffered from snapped-off towers, which turned them into "taste test" cookies for quality assurance purposes. :-) It mostly turned out well, except that a lot of people in Matt's office didn't recognize the castle... they thought the cookies were E's for Engineers. It was a good project, but we probably won't attempt anything like this on the 100+ scale ever again.

Making Progress

A few weeks ago, my sister was in town for a short visit. As I made a grocery list, I asked her if she had any special requests. She said she'd like some blueberries, but then worried that I'd be stuck with them if she didn't finish them before heading back home.

"No worries," I said. "I'll just make blueberry muffins, or a pie."

My sister just stopped and blinked at me. And that's when I realized that I've made some real progress in the cooking department. Sure, I could make some stuff, but I didn't have the breezy confidence I showed when faced with the prospect of extra blueberries. So hey, yay me!

Meal Plan Monday - Week of August 23

I didn't bother with a meal plan last week because Matt was out of town. I did fine on leftovers and a few nights out with friends. But now he's back and this week's theme seems to be leftover-friendly meals. All of these meals are just as good the second time around as the first... and sometimes better!

• meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas
• macaroni and cheese with ham and peas
• chicken pot pie
• chicken and mushroom pasta

Hierarchy of Cleaning [Brilliance!]

Remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs from that Psychology 101 or Educational Psychology class? This is like that, but more useful. It's for those times when home is a wreck and everything is just all too much:

Brilliant! These really are the things that make you feel better, in order of effectiveness.

[Small Notebook via Apartment Therapy]

Meal Plan Monday - Week of August 9

Yeeeeah, we ate out a lot last week. Reasons include "just felt like it", "power is flickering on and off", and "went to the casino". So the first three meals are carryover from last week:

• spaghetti
• chicken pot pie
• shake-n-bake chicken, mashed potatoes, peas
• stuffed manicotti
• beef stroganoff

Missing the 'Burg

Around this time of year, Matt and I usually manage to make a trip to Colonial Williamsburg so we can get our history on. It's our happy place, our escape from the craziness of D.C. (or wherever). We get to do the history thing, eat some super good food, and catch up with good friends. We like it so much, we got married there.

We were supposed to be there this week while Matt attended a conference, but the trip got canceled. Which means that I did not get my annual visit to the Colonial Williamsburg Spa. And man, I could use it after this past year.

So as a (poor) substitute, I'm drinking apple mint tea. The spa serves it year round, hot in fall and winter, iced in spring and summer. And let me tell you, it tastes fantastic both ways. Get yourself some Numi Moroccan Mint tea, and brew it with apple juice instead of water. (You can also cut the apple juice with water a bit if you find it too sweet.)

Meal Plan Monday - Week of Aug. 2

All right, after being out of town for the last six weeks or so, it's time to get back on the meal plan bandwagon! Here we go:

• chicken pot pie
• salmon, rice, broccoli
• spaghetti
• shake-n-bake chicken, mashed potatoes, peas
• tunaburgers, couscous, sweet potato fries

Now I just need to get back on the cooking bandwagon...

Meal Plan Monday - Week of June 7

So after taking Memorial Day Monday off from posting, here is this week's plan:

• shrimp fettuccine alfredo (carryover from two weeks ago)
• beef stroganoff in the slow-cooker (also a carryover)
• tunaburgers, peas, sweet potato fries
• stuffed shells or manicotti
• meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas

I also have a sugar cookie project in the works! I'll post on that next week.

Meal Plan Monday - Week of May 24

So after a few weeks out of town, Meal Plan Monday is back! Except that in my planning, I forgot about the upcoming Memorial Day Weekend, so I have a full week of meals instead of the few we'll need before getting the *bleep* out of Memphis.

I'm still not feeling well after our Mexico trip, so while I'm waiting for everything to clear up, this week's theme was Easy Dinners.

• spaghetti
• salmon, rice, peas
• lemon pepper chicken, egg noodles, broccoli
• meatloaf, (real) mashed potatoes, peas
• BBQ pork chops, rice, peas
• shrimp fettuccine alfredo
• beef stroganoff

Okay, so "real" mashed potatoes are not as easy as instant, but I promised Matt this classic American meal back in Mexico as he was recovering from a sudden but thankfully short bout of illness.

It's More Fun if You Woo

Last week, Matt and I went to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with some friends and had a fantastic time, but we learned a good lesson too.

On Wednesday (which was also my birthday!), we borrowed some boogie boards from the resort  in the morning. In our group, I was the only non-Midwesterner and the only one who had ever used a boogie board before, making me the "expert". Which is another way of saying that we sucked at it. We were too far out, our wave timing was off, and our paddling wasn't all that effective. We caught a few swells but didn't get very far. After a while we turned in the boards and headed back to the sand for drinks and naps.

Later in the day, after lunch and poolside naps, we walked back to the beach to take advantage of the breeze. The waves looked a little better than they had in the morning, but two young boys caught our attention. They had some boogie boards and were having WAY more fun than we had. We watched them for a few minutes and finally realized that these boys weren't any better at it than we were.

The only difference is that every time those boys got a push from the water, even when it wasn't a super-awesome ride, they would yell, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

We tried it out the next day on our adventure tour (think boats, trucks, mules, and ziplines) and it totally worked.

Lesson learned: It's more fun if you woo. 

(Disclaimer: We tried this out a few times over the week, and it generally worked, with one exception. Our final formulation of the rule was, "Everything is more fun if you woo... except diarrhea." Montezuma's revenge is stronger than woo.)

No Ghetto Bumpkins Allowed

Today Matt and I had lunch at our favorite Mexican place, which is actually called My Favorite Place.

There was a family of four at the booth across the way-- mom, dad, son, daughter. I have no idea how it came up, but the mom suddenly launched into a loud and clear speech about her expectations for her kids:

I ain't gonna have no ghetto bumpkin for a child! (Looking at son) YOU will wear your pants above your hips, with a belt and with your shirt tucked in, just like your Daddy does. You ain't gonna get no tattoos or holes in you, and you're gonna wear your hat the way it's meant to be worn-- not backwards, not sideways-- forwards! (Looks at daughter) And YOU ain't gonna date no guy who wears his pants down low. Only boys who dress nicely and are respectful and good guys like your daddy.

At this point, Dad, who has been mm-hmm-ing in agreement the whole time, says, "Or she won't date at all." Mom says, "Yeah, I'm okay with that too."

Then she addresses both kids:

And you're both gonna do well in school and go to college and you're not gonna get married until you're 30.

What I love is that the kids were maybe 6 and 8 years old, but it was obvious Mom had given this speech before. I bet those kids already know the main points of the speech, and in another year or two they will be able to recite it along with her. But she'll keep saying it, making sure they internalize Mom and Dad's expectations of them.

I know we all sometimes get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again from our moms, but oh man, I am TOTALLY going to do this to my kids.

Springtime for Sinuses (note to self)

Dear Jess,

I don't care how many times the tornado sirens go off in a 24-hour period, you still have to remember to take your allergy medicine. If you do not, your sinuses and neck will hurt and you will feel generally "meh". You will be all draggy, which is not convenient, especially when your grad work is late.

Love, Jess

TDY in Texas

Just in case anyone was worried, there was no Meal Plan Monday post this week because Matt and I are in Fort Worth, Texas until Friday. Matt is here for a work-related conference, and I am doing grad work in the hotel room.

I feel bad for Matt because an event like this requires him to be "on" all the time, which has to be tiring. Even for a people person like him. I'm doing pretty well, though-- no lunches or dinners to make, no cleaning to do, no errands to run. All I have to do is get this grad work done.

Meatloaf is Love

Ah, meatloaf, that humble comfort food. It's so easy to make, but no matter how hard you try, you can't get it exactly the same as your mother's. And don't even try to duplicate your mother-in-law's version, you can't do it.

Because I still consider myself a kitchen novice, I really appreciate how forgiving meatloaf is. The first few times I made it, I started with the basic meat/egg/bread crumbs base and just threw stuff in. "My mom puts soy sauce and mustard in her burgers, let's see how it works with meatloaf." Or, "Oh hey, I have some salsa but no chips. I'll just throw the salsa into the meatloaf."

I think I can now officially say that I have figured out "my" meatloaf. Ground beef, egg, bread crumbs, soy sauce, mustard, salsa, and onions, with ketchup on top. I don't know any amounts other than one pound of beef and one egg. Everything else I just sort of put in until it seems right.

My husband really likes meatloaf in general, but I checked with him today and he assured me that he likes MY meatloaf. It's a little thing, but for this Midwestern man, meatloaf = love. Leaving all the leftovers for him = lots of love. And so I'm happy to make it for him.

Meal Plan Monday - Week of April 19

This week's meal plan is based on the fact that I'm entering crunch time with my current semester of grad school. I still have two big assignments and three smaller ones hanging over me, and I'm slogging through them as best as I can. Matt offered to make this week's theme "eat out" but instead we just went with "easy".

• salmon (carryover from last week), couscous, some veggie to be determined
• spaghetti
• meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas
• Hawaiian pork chops, rice, broccoli
• tuna noodle casserole
• chicken & mushroom pasta

You'll notice the salmon is a carryover... we ate out for two dinners last week. It happens sometimes. The nice thing is that I don't have to add that stuff to the grocery list.

HGTV: the First Time Homebuyers I Love to Hate

Last week on Facebook I admitted that Matt and I yell at the TV-- while watching HGTV. But thank goodness, it turns out we are not the only ones!

We often end up watching the "First Time Homebuyers Hour" which includes two shows, My First Place and Property Virgins. These people usually drive us crazy!

They have no financial sense.
Last week we heard a husband and wife have this conversation:

Wife: I'm not sure we can handle $2500 in monthly payments. We might have to lower our budget.

 Husband: Honey, that's what we were approved for-- I'm sure they would know.

Seriously? Maybe this particular episode was filmed before the housing crash, but I thought it was common sense. Just because you're approved for a certain amount doesn't mean you have to pay that much.

They add their down payment to the approved mortgage amount.
This may actually be kosher in the world of real estate, but Matt and I aren't sure it's a good idea. When these shows lay out a budget, they'll say something like, "Dick and Jane have been approved for a $350,000 mortgage and have a $15,000 down payment, so their budget is $365,000." To us it just seems like a good way to start getting in over your head.

They don't do their research.
This is a big one on Property Virgins. The Virgins take the host to a neighborhood where they want to live, and are shocked when the host reveals the average price of houses in that neighborhood. Spending about five minutes on realtor.com isn't that hard.

They rule out houses for stupid things like paint color/wallpaper/curtains/furniture.
This is why HGTV's staging shows are popular-- because most people just see what's in front of them and not what is possible. But hey, once Matt and I start our own house-hunt, we'll be more than happy to snap up an awesome house that someone else didn't want because of unfortunate paint choices.

They won't walk away from major problems.
Call me cold-hearted, but I was never one of those people who believes there is "one true soulmate" for me out there. I figured that nobody is perfect, so there were probably several guys I could have made a good marriage with-- I think Matt is the best there is, but still. Anyways, people get so caught up in one house that they won't walk away if the price is too high or if there are major problems with the house.

I remember seeing one episode of My First Place where the homebuyers loved a house they were viewing. Then they got to the basement and found two feet of standing water. The pregnant wife wanted out, but the husband swore it could be fixed. So she let him call in a plumber friend, who told them the water was actually sewage. Still, the husband wanted to stick with the house. The city flushed the sewer lines, which drained the sewage from the house. Then a home inspector found toxic mold where the sewage had been and ordered the pregnant wife out of the house while he finished the inspection. The husband STILL wanted to stick with the house, but the wife finally put her foot down. Drove. me. nuts!!

On the plus side, though, I feel like Matt and I will be well-prepared when we finally start our own homebuying process. These shows have gotten us talking about how we would want to handle different situations. And we get to look at lots of houses, so we have a pretty solid idea about what appeals to us. Thankfully we match up well on those issues.

In the meantime, we'll just keep yelling at HGTV the way others yell at sports.

Meal Plan Monday - Week of April 12

As I dink around on the various blogs I read, I've seen this "Days of the Week" meme pop up a lot. I don't remember all the days, but Monday is for meal plans. I have the weekly meal plan down as a solid habit now, but I don't have a good way to keep track of what I've used in the past several weeks. I'd like to avoid too-frequent repetitions but also record things I tried that went well so I remember to do them again.

Some people specify which meal will be eaten on which day... I just make a list and decide as we go along. Oh, and I only list six meals because we do still eat out once a week or so.

So, here is the first installment of my Meal Plan Monday:

• chicken teriyaki, rice, broccoli
• BBQ pork chops, baked potatoes, peas
• meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas
• chicken pot pie
• tunaburgers, sweet potato fries
• salmon, egg noddles, broccoli

Grown-Up Furniture

A few weeks ago, Matt and I took delivery on a new bedroom set-- bed, dresser, and two nightstands. And let me tell you, this furniture intimidates the heck out of me.

Until now, all the furniture I've had since striking out on my own has been from Target, Ikea, or Craigslist. I still identify with the "poor teacher" mentality, so getting this nicer stuff all of a sudden throws me off. I'm still surprised when I walk into the bedroom, like, "Oh, whose furniture is this? Wait, it's mine?"

It's also the largest joint purchase Matt and I have made so far. Sure, I've made bigger purchases on my own (my car, and you could probably count signing a 12-month apartment lease in NoVA, but that's really it). And yes, we will spend much larger amounts in the future (a house and a baby are the most likely in the next few years). But for now, this is it.

What really intimidates me, though, is that this stuff is SOLID. As in, I can't just rearrange the bedroom by myself just because I feel like it anymore. Once it was all set up, I realized that this furniture is what we will have for the rest of our lives, barring any disastrous PCS moves. Our kids will come running to this bed when they have nightmares, and about 10 years after that I will likely lie awake in this bed waiting to hear them come home safely. I hope Matt won't travel for work too too much as time goes on; I'd like to spend more nights together than alone in this bed. I'm almost 30, an age I couldn't even imagine when I was younger, but this furniture will be around for ages I can't begin to imagine now.

I suppose what strikes me is that in our modern throwaway culture, this purchase represents a vote of utter confidence in our permanence as a couple and an eventual family. I think getting married in the first place was supposed to do that too, but I'm learning that marriage is really dynamic and it grows and changes a lot over time, while this stuff will remain an unchanging presence in our lives as we go through all those stages.

In other news, I think the furniture knows I'm intimidated. The footboard of the bed gave me this doozy today:

Success in the Kitchen!

In the last few weeks, I have greatly improved my kitchen practices! My successes so far:

First, I have been making a weekly meal plan and grocery list. I list enough meals for the whole week, but don't bother assigning them to days. This way, Matt and I still have some flexibility to decide what we're in the mood to eat. From there, I make the grocery list and we're all set. We used to eat out a lot because I didn't have the time/energy/supplies on hand to get dinner together every night, but now we're down to about one dinner and one lunch out each week. Next step: memorize the grocery store aisles so I can make the grocery list in order like my parents do.

As I started getting into the meal planning, I realized I didn't have a single go-to source for meal ideas. I had a few cookbooks whose titles reveal my level of expertise: The Everything Kids Cookbook, The Kids Cookbook (Williams-Sonoma), and Clueless in the Kitchen. I have a few favorites in each, but it took a while to go through them to get the ingredient lists for the grocery list and all. I realized that I need a recipe book like my mom's, one where I can write recipes on index cards and just stick them in. Surprisingly, those are hard to find. Levenger Circa notebooks to the rescue! I made my own recipe book by punching regular index cards with the Circa punch. Next step: find and try one new recipe each week. If Matt and I like it, then I add it to the recipe book. Last week's tunaburgers are in, the turkey-stuffed peppers from the week before are not.


Next, a small but yummy success: I made my own hot chocolate mix. Matt and I like real hot chocolate, made with cocoa powder, sugar, and real milk. I usually just make it one mug at a time, but yesterday I got a glass jar from Target and made the mix on a larger scale. So now it's three tablespoons of mix, about 10 oz. of milk, and a dash of vanilla extract. Oh, and the labels on my canisters and the glass jar? I used one of those Vis-a-Vis overhead projector transparency pens. I don't like the commitment of pre-labeled canisters, and this ink wipes off with a wet napkin.

And finally, I busted out my Crock-Pot and used it for the first time to make beef stew. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've had the thing for... um.... maybe two years? Something like that. The problem I ran into is that I bought a 2-quart Crock-Pot because the box said it was good for making meals for one or two people. However, most people have much larger slow-cookers and most of the recipes I found for a small one like mine are for dips. Matt is out of town for a few days, so it seemed like a good time to suck it up and try a beef stew recipe I found-- if things went badly he wouldn't have to know. It went really well, though, and now I have some confidence to try more. Next step: work on adapting some slow-cooker recipes for my smaller unit.


I wouldn't call myself a domestic diva yet, maybe something more like a domestic disciple. But I feel like I'm making good progress!

Why Boot Camp?

Why am I calling this blog Domestic Boot Camp? First of all, accidentalhousewife.blogspot.com was already taken. By someone who then calls her blog "Accidental Poet", but oh well.

Well then, on to other reasons for the name. One is that the Army is part of how I got here-- my husband is an Army civilian, which led to our relocation to Memphis, which was a factor in getting to my current housewife status. Also, boot camp is supposed to be a dedicated time when people undergo a transformation from single individual to part of a unit.

This is what I think I missed in the first year of marriage-- we had the wedding and then just went right back to life as it was before. In some ways that was good; neither of us expected the wedding to magically change our lives. But I don't think I took the time to really make the full adjustment. In the first 12 months of our marriage, we spent about 8 of them apart. During that time I mostly focused on me, and getting through that time. And then when we were finally together I was still focusing on me, trying to adjust to a new town and a new job, but completely taking my husband for granted. I was exhausted and unhappy and realized I was being a horrible wife.

So am I going to be yelling at myself and running endless drills? Not remotely. But I want to use the boot camp spirit of transformation and becoming part of something bigger than myself. And I do want to practice the "basics" enough that they become habit, so that when I am under stress I will be able to manage better.

I've known for a long time that I am not cut out for military service... I always said, "The day our country has to rely on me like that is the day we're in big trouble." But I hope I can get to the point where my husband (and later our kids) can rely on me, and I'll be able to be the person they need me to be.

The Accidental Housewife

Well, hi! The last year or so has been fraught with major life changes, and I think somewhere I forgot to make adjustments for them. Instead I just kept plugging along, but finally I just got so worn out that I realized I needed to re-prioritize. So, due to a perfect storm of circumstances, I have become a housewife for now. More like housewife/grad student, but it is still not where I expected to be at this point in my life.

And because I didn't anticipate this, I have a few worries. I worry that because I won't be bringing any money into the household, I'll become a drain on my husband and our resources. I also worry about the possibility of becoming stagnant and not making any kind of contribution to my (small) family.

So I'm going to try to use this time for focused renewal. I'm not sure how long this phase of my life is going to last, but I did set a few goals:

• Make progress in my graduate program.
• Improve my practice of the "domestic arts".
• Boost my (and my husband's) health and wellness.

Are these SMART goals? Heck, no. They are vague as all get-out. I do have some more specific subgoals, just not an organized list of them yet.

My overarching goal/hope is that I can get all this stuff figured out now so the next time things get crazy, most of this "life maintenance" stuff will be habit and I'll be able to take on the new things better than I did this time.